goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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