i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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