Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
