ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
