i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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