new low.... made out with someone while peeing
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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