So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
