I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
