the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
