Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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