OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
