you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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