they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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