Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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