So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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