Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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