She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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