I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
