Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am available for nakedness
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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