Define "chronic" masturbator.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize