i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
