I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
