I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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