His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
