either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A bitchslap is in order.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
