I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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