I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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