There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
