I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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