Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
