last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
