I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
