pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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