also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
