i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize