he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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