butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
