Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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