I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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