Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
