I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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