Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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