I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I cut my penus on the lid.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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