Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
