PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
