Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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