i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize