You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
