dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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