if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
