YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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