i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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