You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
