Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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