I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
