I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
