He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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