What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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