Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
