Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
