More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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