Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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