why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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