love makes seman taste better
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
