the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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