I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We need to rekindle our bromance
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
