This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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