remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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