Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
