I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my being single is dangerous.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
